Facebook, Instagram and blogs have all become a part of our everyday lives.
We all check in to see what our friends have posted and what people we admire have written.
But here’s an important question.
When you read a blog or scroll through your friends’ glowing photos, are you simply happy for them?
Or are you comparing yourself to what you see and finding yourself wanting?
There’s a famous Teddy Roosevelt quote that goes:
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Roosevelt died in 1919 — there’s no way he could have known how true his words would be in the 21st century.
Social media has made it so easy for us to see other people’s bodies, vacations, homes, jobs, children, but this isn’t just about the Internet.
We're all guilty of looking at what our friends have and measuring it against ourselves. It may be a natural thing to do, but that doesn’t make it right or good for us.
If what you’re seeing is making you feel bad about yourself, it’s time to stop.
You may think that when you are looking at what others have, you are simply joining in their community and sharing their happiness. It’s easy to tell if that’s what you’re really doing.
If that’s the case, it doesn’t make you feel bad.
But if what you see is triggering a sense that you’re not good enough or that you need to do better, then you’re not just joining … you’re comparing.
Comparing can have two outcomes.
You can feel that you’re better than the other person, or not as good as them.
- Both lead to disconnection.
- Both lead to mean feelings.
- You’re either being mean (in your head) to the other person, or mean to yourself.
So How Do You Stop the Process?
The first step is to realize that making comparisons is never a fair process. That’s because it is never based on reality.
You're comparing your worst view of yourself to somebody else’s best view of themselves.
When you do this, you risk falling short and driving your self-esteem and self-confidence down.
When you hear or feel yourself comparing what someone else has or does to what you have or do, you need to take control. The hardest part is recognizing that you're doing this, but once you start seeing your patterns it gets easier.
Arm yourself with some positive words, or images of things that you’re proud of.
Give Yourself a Pep Talk
Try saying these positive affirmations out loud to yourself every day. It may sound like you're lying to yourself at first but these affirmations are more powerful the more you say them. I'm a living testimony to their power!
<3 I am enough ?
<3 I am divine just as I am ?
<3 I am standing in a body I love ?
<3 I am living a life of abundance ?
<3 I am the very definition of success ?
? I am surrounded by love ?
? I am powerful ?
? I am creating my dream life every day ?
After you’ve stopped yourself from comparing, you can start over. Look again at your friend’s photo or post and use it as inspiration for happiness.
You need to be fair to yourself, and stop beating yourself up!
When you see others expressing how confident and happy they feel, let that serve as a reminder to feel happy about yourself and what you’ve accomplished.
Celebrate every small victory and most of all learn to love the body you live in. Every one of us is uniquely created in divinity and you are worth celebrating just as you are!
I've opened up (and spared no detail) how I overcame the death of my son, an ugly divorce and complete financial ruin in my new book, The Rise. You can order the book HERE.
Yours in health,
Danette
P.S. I hope you will help me raise awareness about this by sharing this with your friends and I'd love to hear your comments on this topic below. Have you caught yourself comparing yourself to other more often with the rise of social media?